The ego is a person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance. It’s an identity of our own construction, constructed from all the beliefs of what we are – beliefs about our personality, talents, and abilities. All these beliefs about ourselves may be either true or false, but regardless, our ego itself is artificial. It is a mental picture of ourselves that we carry with us throughout the day.
The Ego used to be required for survival. It helped our ancestors be aware of their surroundings, and kept them wary of the ever-present dangers in the primitive world, like giant man-eating tigers and such.
Since we don’t have tigers to worry about anymore, the ego seeks out other, tiger-replacing challenges to allow it to still feel important. You can feel this happening when you encounter random panic attacks, or what we call the 3-am real estate night sweats. It happens when you judge yourself and you judge others, and it turns off others – costing you precious time, money, relationships, peace and happiness.
The Ego loves the ‘what if’s’…
- What if I don’t get this deal to close?
- What if they don’t like me?
- What if they ask a question I don’t know how to answer?
- What if they never call me back?
- What if I owe more taxes than I think?
- Etc.
All of the what if’s are 100% made up and NOT REAL.
Signs you have an ego challenge……
- Having to always be right.
- Asking questions but not really listening to the answers.
- Interrupting.
- Lack of open mindedness to ideas other than yours.
- Having to ‘win’ all the time.
- Over promising and under delivering.
- Inability to admit to mistakes.
- Inability to apologize sincerely.
- Talking more than you listen.
- Believing you already know it all.
- Believing that you are the only reason you’re successful.
- Living more in the past or the future than you are in the present.
How do tackle these challenges…….
1. Eliminate as much as possible, the words, ‘I, me, my and mine’.
2. Talk less about your awards and more about how you can be of service.
3. Employ the ‘F-O-R-D’ system of conversation…Family, Occupation, Recreation, Dreams.
4. Actually listen to the answers when you use your scripted questions!
5. Accept the fact that you will never know everything there is to know or be the best in the world. Replace with always updating your knowledge and skills and always assume you’re competing. Bring your best game.
6. When you fail, find out why and correct course, versus blaming the other party.
7. Apologize sincerely and properly. It’s a 4 step process. A) Express remorse. ‘I’m sorry. I apologize.’ B) Admit responsibility. C) Take action to make the situation right. D) Promise that it won’t happen again..
8. Listen, listen, listen. Force yourself to write down what your prospect or client or friend or family member is actually saying. How does it apply to your ability to help them?
9. Be present. What is today about for you, your prospects and clients, your family?
10. Always as how you can be of service. If someone doesn’t want your help or need your help, stop making it all about you!
11. When in doubt, list 3 things you’re most grateful for!
