Tim and Julie Harris continue the series about becoming someone that others want to listen to… What speaking sins are you committing and how can you fix them?

4 – Excuses: Are you wielding a ‘blame-thrower’?  Own it.  All of it.  Even if it’s only partially your fault.  It’s honorable and an amazing example to set for your kids, clients and friends to be accountable.  For example:

How to actually deliver an apology which is meaningful: 4 part process.

Acknowledge the offending behavior: “I forgot to send the signatures back in time.”  Versus: ‘The signatures weren’t sent in time’, or ‘I couldn’t find the other agent’…

State how the mistake was hurtful.  “I’m sorry that this caused you a lot of stress.  It was entirely my fault.”

Make amends.  “Here’s how I’m going to fix the situation.” -or- ask the offended party how you can make things better.  Letting them be heard can erase negative feelings and correct course.

Promise the behavior will not happen again.  “In the future I’ll be communicating with you more and letting you know exactly what deadlines are coming up and which have been met.”

Brian Tracy said, “Communication is a skill that you can learn.  It’s like riding a bicycle or typing.  If you’re willing to work at it, you can rapidly improve the quality of every part of your life.”

5 – Exaggeration: Exaggeration is a prequel to lying.  Don’t be the drama king or queen in the relationship.  This is a turn off and causes people not to trust your accuracy.  How do you feel about home inspectors who run off your buyers when there’s a tiny plumbing leak?

6 – Dogmatism: This is the confusion of facts with opinions.  This is most apparent when someone is delivering their opinion with such enthusiasm that it appears to be fact.  Once this is detected, the trust factor of the listener is diminished.

You’ll notice that the internet is full of Dogmatism.

“Don’t bother to argue anything on the Internet. And I mean, ANYTHING…. The most innocuous, innocent, harmless, basic topics will be misconstrued by people trying to deconstruct things down to the sub-atomic level and entirely miss the point…. Seriously. Keep peeling the onion and you get no onion.” – Vera Nazarian

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