Are you happy? I mean with your company, your career, your family & personal life – all of it. Happiness is a major driving force in all of our lives, something that we’re continually seeking, and yet few of us truly find.
Many people think that being happy is a goal or destination that they’ll achieve by their actions. “If I could only double my income,” you say, “then I’ll be happy.” However, one of the elusive qualities of happiness is that it’s not really the result of what you do, but rather something inside you that you have to find before you can truly achieve your peak level of performance.
Not surprisingly, being happy is connected to your actions – and study after study has found a collection of traits associated with happy people that folks who describe themselves as unhappy don’t have.
Top 25 Traits of Happy People and How to Implement All of Them!
1) Happy people find the GOOD in any situation. They are ‘glass is half full’ types on purpose. Some are naturally this way, but most are consciously this way. In other words, they CHOOSE to be positive.
Action: Observe how often you consciously or subconsciously ‘declare’ something to be either ‘good’ or ‘bad’. Replace with the saying ‘It’s too soon to tell’, to get out of judgement and into possibility.
Happy people methodically create happiness versus passively accepting what is happening to them.
2) Happy people accept responsibility. They do not blame their emotional state on others. Happy people understand and embrace their power to create the desired outcome. As a result of accepting responsibility, they are more pro-active.
Happy people have specific goals. Their daily, weekly and monthly actions are based on those goals. Unhappy people are generally goal less, thus their actions are unfocused and sporadic.
Action: Review your goals. Create, revamp, replace goals you’ve already achieved. If you have no goals, begin by writing down what you don’t want in life; what you want to change. Invest in your future with the Real Estate Treasure Map.
3) Happy people attract other positive relationships and actively avoid negative ones. They are and attract ‘battery charges’ versus ‘battery drainers’.
Action: Make a list of people who make you happy and people who bring you down. Stop talking to and hanging out with those who drain your mental and emotional battery. Set coffee or brunch dates with people you are excited to know and motivated by. Hire a coach who will motivate you and hold you accountable to your goals!
4) Happy people rarely complain and are repulsed by chronic whiners. Complaining is like a magnifying glass over negative emotions, it only serves to make them worse.
Action: Make a commitment to never complain again. As soon as you hear yourself, ask yourself if you have the power to change what you’re complaining about. If you do, make the change. If you don’t, stop your whining!
5) Happy people are not necessarily more talented or naturally skilled than everyone else. They simply find ways to maximize what they ARE good at, and fill in the gaps with targeted education and skill building.
Action: What skills do you need to pursue so you can achieve a higher level of happiness? What can you do more of that you’re already great at?
6) Happy people have very low expression of ego. They admit mistakes, they apologize when appropriate. They know the difference between confidence and arrogance.
Action: Observe how many times during your average day you have some expression of ‘having to be right’, or summarily rejecting responsibility. Make the commitment to apologize sincerely when appropriate.
Secret: A sincere apology has 4 elements:
-Admitting what you did wrong -Acknowledge that some pain or damage was caused -state you are responsible -state regret with promise not to repeat, and ask for forgiveness.
7) Happy people make decisions quickly. Since they are ok with making mistakes and re-calibrating, happy people move forward more quickly and don’t get ‘stuck’ on decisions.
Action: What are you currently procrastinating a decision about? Put a deadline to decide. Ask questions to help make the decision. Decide and move forward.
Secret: It’s helpful to remind yourself that if it turns out to be the wrong decision, you can always recalibrate.
Secret: When making tough decisions, act as if you’ve decided one way, and see how you feel about it. Then change the decision and see how you feel if you did the opposite.
8) Happy people have clearly defined standards in their personal and business lives. Happy people are very clear about what they want and don’t want.
Action: If your coach were to ask you what the 3 most important things you’re working on right now are, could you answer immediately, succinctly and with specifics?
9) Happy people DO have negative emotions. They feel fear, uncertainty, confusion and frustration. They don’t allow those feelings and thoughts to control them. They identify the feelings and take action to reach resolution, moving toward a positive change.
Action: Observe your reaction when you feel a negative way or have negative thoughts. Do you replace those thoughts and feelings with action, or do you get stuck?
10) Happy people are ambitious. They detest the auto-pilot mode and strive to be in the pilot’s seat, even if that means flying into unknown territory. Passive behavior leads to reactive and victim types of emotions. Active behavior leads to happiness. The simple act of taking control just by itself puts you in a better place emotionally and mentally.
Action: What are you avoiding right now that persists? What are you feeling like a victim over or out of control of? Write 3 things to action on so you are in the pilot’s seat and not in the back of the plane where the toilets are!
11) The Happy Person’s Affirmation: “I’m a Do-er, I Do things NOW, I get things DONE’. Happy people are not procrastinators.
Action: Adopt that affirmation immediately.
12) Happy people are at peace with The Accumulation Effect. They are not addicted to instant gratification. Happy people are results oriented, thus they value effective and efficient results, even if it takes longer.
Action: What specific actions are you taking daily in order to achieve the goals you’ve set forward?
13) Happy people understand the Serenity Prayer: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
Happy people don’t give much energy to things they cannot change, but instead spend their efforts fully on those things they do have control over.
Action: What are you banging your head over that you have no control of? What do you actually have control of but need to be more proactive on?
14) Happy people are not out of shape. They are not slobs. They take care of themselves physically, because they understand the impact that physical health has on mental health as well as emotional and financial health.
Action: Take a second and be honest. Are you at your perfect weight? What does your office look like? Your car? Your wardrobe? What needs upgraded? Who will hold you accountable to taking those steps?
Secret: Create a ‘body double’ image in your mind. Who do you want to look like, sound like, speak like? Choose an actor or actress, a historical figure or a leader you respect. Adapt and adopt their traits. It’s easier than recreating on your own!
15) Happy people have a mindset of giving before getting. They are not in conflict about being here to serve. Happy people become happier when they help someone else achieve versus unhappy people who feel something is taken away from them.
Action: Write 5 thank you notes every day to shine the light on someone else. You’ll feel great doing it and they’ll feel great getting a thoughtful card from you!
16) Happy people are not necessarily in perfect balance with the 5 areas of life (Family / Physical / Financial / Educational / Spiritual), but they are actively striving for their specific goals in those areas. Health and happiness is being pursued actively, not passively.
Action: Get serious about your goal setting! Post your goals on your wall. Remember that goals must be measurable, specific, time dependent and posted!
17) Happy people ask questions, they are constantly learning. They have coaches in multiple areas of life. They haven’t stagnated educationally, financially or emotionally.
Action: Who is holding you accountable to the things you claim are important to you? How much faster would you get there if you weren’t going it alone?
18) Happy people love to be in the middle two stages of Mastery, ie, Conscious Incompetence and Conscious Competence. They don’t allow themselves to feel that they ‘know it all’.
Action: Become familiar with the Stages of Mastery and know where you are on different skills required for you to reach your goals. What steps are necessary to move into the middle two, most profitable stages?
19) Happy people are at peace with being spiritual beings in a materialistic world. They use things to improve their lifestyle, not to show off, but to create peace in their world and set an example to others of what they can do, be, see and have.
Action: If you say things like ‘I’m not in it for the money’, or ‘I can’t afford that’, cure those thoughts with goal setting and skill improvement so you can instead have the life of your dreams.
Secret: The life of your dreams does cost money.
20) Happy people are versatile and flexible. They embrace change instead of hide from it. They have the ability to successfully communicate with multiple types of people in different situations, creating positive outcomes.
Action: Take the DiSC personality test. Understand who you are, who your best relationships are and which types of people you’re challenged by. Strive for versatility.
Secret: Versatile people are happier, make more money and feel less stress in life. People who lack versatility are more negative, more stressed and generally broke.
21) Happy people insulate themselves from soaking up the emotions of others. They are compassionate, gracious and nurturing without being drawn in. They know how to protect their own emotional well-being.
Action: Develop affirmations to protect your own emotional health, so you can still show compassion without getting into the mud.
22) Happy people understand that conflict can lead to POSITIVE outcomes and shouldn’t be avoided at all cost. Instead, they understand the challenge and work through it head on.
Action: Observe your reaction to conflict. Do you negotiate immediately or let things sit and fester? Do you meet challenges head on or wait for something to force your hand? Decide to embrace conflict and learn from it, instead of avoiding it at all cost.
Secret: Avoiding conflict costs you money and expands your feelings of frustration. It squelches happiness.
23) Happy people are not quick to judge, belittle or insult. They know the power of positivity, so those actions are incongruent with the happy person’s standards.
Action: Decide today to get out of judgement and into curiosity.
24) Happy people seek out opportunities to give back versus always looking for a handout. They have a mindset of Abundance not of Scarcity.
Action: Remind yourself that the world if full of abundance. There IS enough to go around. If you’re not living the life of your dreams, it simply means you haven’t found a way to help enough people yet!
25) Happy people have the ability to ‘change channels’. They have a ‘quittin’ time’ for work and a ‘family time’ and ‘fun time’ channel. Time management is a way of life, not just a fleeting idea. They are in control of what’s important and can switch from situation to situation with ease.
Action: Monitor your ‘time in the grey area’. The grey area is where stress lives. When you are at work, wishing you’re on vacation, or you’re on vacation, checking your cell phone incessantly. Learn to change channels!
Conclusion: Every trait that Happy People share centers on taking control, getting into action and accepting that it’s in your power to control your level of Happiness. Take action now!!
