You can’t eliminate toxic people entirely, but you can take steps to minimize the times you deal with them. You can learn from the experiences and be inspired to generate MORE business so you have to tolerate LESS toxic prospects.
Secret: Increase your skill set to protect your mindset. Your family, your bank account, your heart and soul will thank you. Take control so you don’t lose control.
1. Have systems in place to identify ‘early warning signs’ before you’re too deep into the relationship. Pre-qualify 100% of your buyers and sellers for motivation. Is it logical? Is there a time frame? Are they working with other agents? Use scripts so you’re consistent each and every time. Don’t have separate rules for separate situations!
2. Know that when you generate tons of business, you don’t have to tolerate the toxic. How many times have you worked with toxic people because you just didn’t have enough in your pipeline and figured ‘what the heck?’ The more business you have, the less you’ll say yes to questionable prospects.
3. It’s NOT real estate. It’s dealing with the public. Every business that’s successful has toxic people slip under the radar from time to time. It’s a numbers game. It’s NOT real estate.
4. It’s not YOU, it’s them. It’s NOT ‘normal’. You can only own this when you use scripts, you prequalify, you know your facts and stats and have confidence in your skill set. Otherwise, maybe it IS you…
5. Accept the fact that occasionally you’ll have toxic people in the middle of your transactions. Don’t join them. Be part of the solution, not part of the problem. Don’t take their bad behavior personally.
6. Set the example. Be the change you wish to see. Look for ways to take leadership instead of feeling like the victim. You’ll earn repeat and referral business as a result.
7. Know that soon you’ll be free of them. Challenge yourself to make it a game of being one step ahead until you close. Remember what you’re making to deal with the situation. Chances are you’re still making good money per hour, so put on those big girl panties and get to work!
8. Get back to a place of being of service. Sometimes you have to get out of your own way…this means setting your ego aside and simply doing your job. Your clients trust you to lead the way, even if they don’t verbalize this to you. They don’t know how to ask for help, but know that they crave your leadership, so don’t be passive – even to the strongest personalities. Profit is the result of your leadership.
9. Know that you’re in good company. There’s not a top producing agent in the country who hasn’t had to deal with toxic people. The best ones learn from those relationships and take steps to minimize them in the future.
10. It gets better with time. Experience really helps with dealing with toxic folks. You’ll get better and faster at identifying them early, and at the same time your skill set will be improving so you’ll have the confidence to do something about it.
11. Know that 9 out of 10 times, toxic people don’t mean it. Real estate is far more stressful to the average Joe or Josephine than it is to you. It’s the biggest, most serious transaction they’ve ever done. The tendency is to freak out and come unglued, NOT to become a meditative, calm Buddha. Be there for your clients even if they’re driving you crazy. They’re stressed. Have some compassion.
12. Be grateful for learning the flaws that the toxic types always find. Cranky, particular, stressed out types are like heat-seeking missles looking for the flaws in your system. Be grateful they identify those issues for you and FIX the flaws. If they’re pointing out things that you know aren’t wrong, realize the toxic are the anomaly, not the rule. Learn to know the difference.